Ugly: Giving us back our beauty standards

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Unfortunately, when beauty standards begin to change, the different systems of oppression that control them work harder and they just become more insidious. That's why we need to be able to police them and take ourselves away from things that might be causing us harm.

This is when I started doing research into where our beauty trends come from and the different things that affect them, from politics to colonisation to class – it was a real turning point for me. That's why I wrote the book, to make sense of that void (or chasm) in the middle." GLAMOUR : Hi Anita! It's so good to chat with you today. Congratulations on writing your first book. How have you found the process of talking about your relationship with the word ‘ugly’? The author’s pre-set experience has added value to the writing process: ‘I’ve worked on the inside of the industry, I’ve got a very unique insight into how so many parts of it work. The personal experiences I explore in the book bring together the elements of politics, history, science and psychology of beauty standards,’ she explains.She continues, “It’s also no mistake that women are bombarded with antiaging messaging in their mid-20s to 30s—a time when people are generally stepping into their power, gaining more confidence, and earning more money. Imagine if women retained the money, time, energy, effort, and brain space they dedicate to physical beauty from age 25 on? The force of that power would threaten to destroy the sexist, patriarchal structures our society is built upon.” Orbach continues, “We can see this same concept more clearly in trends like no-makeup makeup and the clean-girl look. In both instances, women are expected to perform the labor of applying cosmetics and then the labor of making those cosmetics seem nonexistent. ‘Aging gracefully’ is much the same! We’re encouraged to participate in the system but also, to make it appear as if we aren’t participating in the system at all.” Essentially, it’s about funneling a lot of time and resources into antiaging efforts while maintaining a facade of effortlessness. As DeFino explains, “What makes aging gracefully a particularly nefarious euphemism for antiaging is that it implies antiaging should appear to be effortless. Of course aging gracefully is not effortless—it demands a lot of effort, and then demands even more effort to disappear the evidence of said effort.” “Women are expected to perform the labor of applying cosmetics and then the labor of making those cosmetics seem nonexistent.” This aim is matched by the title’s impact. Each chapter delves into a different intersection of beauty standards – from age to body size, race to pretty privilege – and the unrealistic expectations within them. Bhagwandas says she loves a “practical tip”, which was the reasoning behind ending each chapter with a helpful set of questions to take forward. Is there one overarching practical tip someone could take from Ugly?

We're still told that it's good to be thin rather than bigger... even though we have body positivity," Bhagwandas shares.This discomfort followed me from my teens to university and into adult life – a constant imaginary friend always there to remind you of your lowly place in the world. It gradually evolved into a toxic obsession with thinness – and all that it promised: success, acceptance and prettiness. I’d feel its piercing criticism when I swiped on layers of concealer to cover my dark circles or when I blotted furiously at my oil-drenched skin with too-pale powder. Every brush stroke became a silent prayer, a plea for me to look like the girls around me held up as the beauty ideal.

Female celebrities are more likely to have their appearance dissected because they are making obvious changes to their appearance, and often. People are going to talk about that,” explains DeFino. This isn’t inherently a negative thing: “I hate the idea that discussing women’s looks—particularly when those looks are the result of an intense and potentially dangerous process of mechanical manipulation that defies the physical limits of the human face and the financial limits of the majority of the population—is sexist.” When you consider the impact on our faces, our self esteem and our bank balance, if, when, and how we are tweaked, requires far more consideration. I’d been quiet, but polite and as helpful as possible, often staying late to get it all done. By the end of that stint, there was nothing left of me. I spent my lunch breaks in the nearby park silently crying (being able to be miserable inaudibly was a key skill for working on women’s magazines) and couldn’t wait for it to be over. I wouldn't say I stopped hating the way I look but this book helped me make a significant steps towards just accepting myself the way that I am. I remember when I started in the fashion and journalism industry, I felt that pretty much everyone was white. I wish I could tell myself then that the things I thought were working against me were probably going to make my career in what was a very elitist industry. I wish I could tell myself that the difference I felt is a great thing because it gives me a very unique perspective.I then made a pivotal life choice. Where is the worst place you can imagine a broken human obsessed with being thin and beautiful and never quite measuring up might find themselves? You guessed it: women’s fashion magazines. I can’t help but grieve and be furious that these beauty archetypes made me feel so ugly at such a young age. But at the same time, taking a more critical and challenging perspective on the limited and limiting beauty standards we’ve been force-fed has helped me close that loop of self loathing. You know, the one that tells you you’re not thin/pretty/straight-haired/light-skinned enough to be valuable.

Life's struggles can be as indiscriminate as blistering good looks and downsides like being stereotyped as 'just a pretty face' shouldn't be overlooked. Naturally, there are counterpoints to those arguments too but the point is, pretty privilege is as complex and in need of continuous evaluation as any deep-rooted societal conditioning. What can we do about it? She argues that a “more subversive and effective way to expose the construct of womanhood” would be to “reject the tools of construction, such as cosmetic surgery, entirely. As it is, Madonna is propping up the very systems she claims to be standing up to—ageism, misogyny—by refusing to let her aging female body age visibly.”

“People are upset by Madonna’s new face because it is, on some level, exposing the truth: that antiaging is an inhuman goal, and attempting to antiage—or age gracefully—actually takes an incredible amount of effort.”

Exactly, and the vicious circle has to be broken because it just causes so much misery and we're not living our lives to the full extent that we should be. I can definitely say that of my own experience and I know that's the case for lots of other people, too.